also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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