she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
