stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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