he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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