tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
