The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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