just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
