I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
