i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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