I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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