We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
