mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At least make sure they are 18
Why
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
