Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
