Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
