Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
