Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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