Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize