Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
