No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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