I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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