there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
