Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
