GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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