So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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