meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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