what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
