My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm going to jail i love you
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
