the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
smell my finger.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
