JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
