It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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