It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
