At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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