I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
