I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
