Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Pooping to opera.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
