After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
