but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
