where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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