dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
