Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
