Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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