She's JV to your varsity
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
