Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
