Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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