Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
