there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
