how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
