These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think people are normalizing furries
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
