I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i think i have two assholes
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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