dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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