like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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