Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
