I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
