my sisters under your porch take her home
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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