I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
