using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
