yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
