So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
