Do you still have your period?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
