Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
