Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
