we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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